10 Days of an Autism-Friendly Holiday

The holiday season can bring out the “Grinch” in children with autism.  The constant schedule changes, different foods, environment changes and chaos of people can increase challenging behaviors and sensory responses.  I’ve experienced a significant amount of “holiday hell-days” with my 3 boys, so here are some suggestions on how to enjoy the season when the autism in your home is saying “Bah-Humbug.”

• Maintain a ‘Silent Night.’  Keeping your typical night time routine and schedule will go a long way toward establishing peace and calm in the house during the season.  Bedtime should stay the same whether there are family members around or a party happening next door.
• Keep reinforcers on hand. Most children with autism will respond positively to having unexpected toys or fidgets given to them when everyone is experiencing the random chaos of the holiday. 

• Feast on Favorites. Try to convince Grandma that a Holiday Meal is about enjoying the people whether they are willing to eat her jello salad or not.  I’ve served Froot Loops to my boys at a Christmas meal.  Pancakes are their thing?  Great!  That’s part of the Christmas tradition for you!  

• Spread out the cheer. My game plan during the holiday season was ‘one-thing-a-day’.  Kind of like an activity Advent calendar.  No more than one activity each day or else there was guaranteed to be challenging behavior from someone–and that could be me. 

• Presents are preferred.  The typical American family opens all their presents at once.  This can be really overwhelming–even if all the presents are preferred.  Consider opening only 1-2 gifts then playing with those gifts for a while before opening other gifts. 

• Anticipation can be miserable. My middle son gives me a list of what he wants for Christmas and I am required to ‘check the box’ so he knows if he is getting the item or not.  And then he opens everything and says ‘It’s just what I wanted.”  Spontaneity is overrated.

• Practice appreciation. Consider modeling what to say when your child opens a gift they didn’t want or already have.  Practicing “thank you!” and then promising that you will get them something else is much better than offending Aunt Betty because she gave your child a wool sweater. 

• Santa Claus is scary. For many individuals with autism, the whole “Santa” concept is odd and creepy.  Be ready to throw that tradition out the window.  And if you really want a picture of your child sitting on a strange person’s lap, go to the mall first thing in the morning when it opens, or call and ask for a specific time for your child.

• Beat the crowd.  If there is a Polar Express ride, or Sleigh Ride or some other community event in your area, call ahead and explain that you have a child with autism and would like to come an hour before everyone else.  Most groups who are hosting holiday events are ready to go at that time anyway.  We’ve had great success with this strategy.

• Joy to the World. In the end, Christmas is a single day.  Children with autism bring joy to our world every day of the year.  We don’t need all the trimmings to be reminded that joy is available through hugs, words and each child’s unique expression of love.  

Alyson Beytien, BCBA, MS-Autism, LBA

Director of Autism Services

Because Life is All About Connections

Life Connections provides in-home Behavioral Health Intervention services, Therapy services, autism (ABA) services and Children’s Mental Health waiver services in our 13 office locations and approved schools across Iowa. Life Connections was founded in March of 2009 with the intent to serve the children and families of Cedar Rapids and surrounding cities.

Life Connections is a highly professional and caring counseling and behavioral health provider. We offer a wide array of services to treat mental health issues including Applied Behavior Analysis Services,  Behavioral Health Intervention Services, mental health therapy, school-based therapy programs, and substance use treatment.

For more information, please call 319-409-6922.

Resources:

• National Suicide Prevention Hotline 800-273-8255

• Crisis Text line text to 741741
• The Trevor Project – for LGBTQ+ young adult community 866-488-7386
• Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network 800-656-4673